13 September 2008
Good friends are hard to find. I only have a few friends that I see day to day, one is my husband and without him I could not survive. A few other people I consider friends are people that I have never seen face to face, a small group of girls I know through this silly world of the Internet.
I suppose it was a mistake to become to close to people online. They all tend to lead their own lives and never become as close as I feel like we had become. They get jobs and move places and take trips and have other friends whereas I'm still just a person who is online. They got lazy when I moved my online journal from LiveJournal and it became so much more inconvenient to be my friend. I understand. It still hurts, though.
I don't even want to get into how I feel about the friends I moved away from seven years ago. It still hurts just to think about it. Almost a decade later the wounds are still just as fresh the first time they didn't send me birthday or Christmas cards. Not to mention my mother, who I used to be so close to but now I don't even know if I can be around her long enough to go to my first concert of my most favorite band ever with her.
I feel so alienated and friendless. I have no one to turn to but Mark, my loving husband. My best friend. In the end he is the only person I need, holding my hand and facing this beautiful yet lonely world with me on a daily basis.
